I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Randomize
