Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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