That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize