I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
