im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Randomize
