i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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