Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
