The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize