i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
