i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Randomize
