She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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