i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
