I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
