Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
and she was petting her beer can
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize