Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
