Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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