I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
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