Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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