Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Randomize
