Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I can tuck mytits in my pants
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
