This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
