Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
