Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
