let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
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