google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Randomize
