So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
well you can't waste a boner
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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