Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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