She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
