In America we eat man semen.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Randomize