What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
