you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
