Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Randomize
