Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
