Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
wow bdsm is so cute
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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