That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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