You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
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