how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
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