the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
