Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
