Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
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