Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Banned from zoo.
Again?
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
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