bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Well I just put wine in my tea
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
