I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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