just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
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