i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
