I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
