That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
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