Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Randomize
