is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
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