i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
