i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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