Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
