So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
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