i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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