Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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