Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
