Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
