Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
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