It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize