8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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