You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Randomize
