btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
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