i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
We are two peas in an std pod
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
