If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Randomize
