Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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