I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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