Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
