I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize