Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Randomize
