I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize
